It’s Time To Water The Plants

The advent of first Delaware’s Christine O’Kooky, and then Nazi dress-up man Rich Iott of Ohio, delivered Nevada’s Sharron Angle from the role of premier screwloose in election 2010. Yet now that all these people have lost, it is Angle’s that is the campaign that most keeps on giving.

For instance, we last week learned that the uber-paranoid Angle, she of the Strangelovian fluoridation fears, developed a Secret Code so that workers in her campaign could alert one another when Bad People attempted to Infiltrate.

Team Angle put campaign volunteers through a three-hour indoctrination. Included was an instruction of what to do if anyone came into the office who looked like a Democrat, a Reid supporter or a member of the media—they all look alike!—and that order was to dial a certain extension in front of the interloper and say, “It’s time to water the plants.”

Further, Angle had to be repeatedly restrained from publicly fellating murderous dictators like Chile’s Augusto Pinochet. Told by Sane People in the GOP to put a cork in it, she pouted: “Sometimes dictators have good ideas.”

Said sane people additionally identified the wild-hair teabaggers who infested the Angle campaign as “The Island Of Misfit Toys.”

This is a reference to the immortal “animagic” opus Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, which features a collection of children’s playthings so Wrong and Mutant they are forcibly exiled to an ice floe.

News on other Wrong Mutants, specifically Fox News freakazoid Roger Ailes—a being so repugnant in every way that not even his own hair will allow itself to be associated with him—and that animal-human hybrid, Louisiana lizard-man James Carville, beyond the “furthur.”

Ailes is apparently so orgasmic about the 2010 election results that he believed it safe to flap from out of his bat-cave, where generally he supervises the lies of others, to spew lies personally and directly to Howard Kurtz of The Daily Beast.

“The president has not been very successful,” Ailes lied. “He just got kicked from Mumbai to South Korea, and he came home and attacked Republicans for it. He had to be told by the French and the Germans that his socialism was too far left for them to deal with.”

Obama, lied Ailes, “just has a different belief system than most Americans.”

Ailes, of course, is the racist who directed racist Richard Nixon’s racist 1968 media campaign. Ailes later worked for Ronald Racist Reagan, and he now runs the racist Fox News for the racist Rupert Murdoch. There, more than any single human being on planet earth, Ailes has been responsible for inculcating in a large portion of the nation’s GOoPers the racist “belief system” that Barack Obama is not a United States citizen (58%), and “sympathizes with the goals of Islamic fundamentalists who want to impose Islamic law around the world” (52%).

Ailes engages in a fine bit of projection, when he says of comedian Jon Stewart: “He hates conservative views. He hates conservative thoughts. He hates conservative verbiage. He hates conservatives.” If one simply substitutes the word “liberal” for “conservative,” one has a fine description of Ailes.

Ailes additionally offers that Stewart is “crazy.” This from a man who employs such barking-mad lunatics as the falafel-fondling Bill O’Reilly and the blackboard-molester Glenn Beck. Ailes describes Beck as ”so intelligent and basically sensitive,” which certainly brings Ailes’ own sanity into serious question. Ailes says of another of his employees, “I don’t think there’s any doubt about what Sean Hannity is,” but then he neglects to tell us what that is—a hebephrenic Hibernian so stunningly stupid that he stands as the single greatest insult to the Irish people since Oliver Cromwell.

Of NPR executives, Ailes says: “They are, of course, Nazis. They have a kind of Nazi attitude. They are the left wing of Nazism.” Well . . . Ailes would know Nazis. His network went into overdrive defending Rich Iott, the teabagging Ohio congressional candidate who gets his jollies prancing around in a Nazi uniform from the same outfit that fielded Josef Mengele.

Now, it is a little known fact—one not referenced in the Kurtz interview—that before selling his soul to the devil to become a great GOoPer panjandrum, Ailes was composed wholly of pixels. He appeared as several animated television characters, most notably as the disturbed Arctic miner Yukon “Cornhole” Cornelius, who in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer repeatedly engaged in acts of sexual congress with the dentally-obsessed elf, Hermey. Ailes in his Cornhole persona, licking cocaine off a pick, can be seen in the photo above.

In Rudolph, Ailes as Cornhole was peculiarly attracted to the denizens of The Island Of Misfit Toys, which explains, perhaps, the Fox fascination with all things teabagger.

James Carville, of course, has also done film work: in the lean years after the Clintons left the White House, he appeared as Gollum in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

A true Clinton deadender, Carville apparently got such a thrill out of the mid-term results that he was moved to re-titter one of his racist lines from the 2008 primary campaign.

Back then, in discussing Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, he projectile-vomited to Newsweek that ”if she gave him one of her cojones, they’d both have two.”

Last week, while breakfasting with the Christian Science Monitor, Carville upchucked: ”If Hillary gave up one of her balls and gave it to Obama, he’d have two.”

Way to roll out the racist stereotype of the neutered black man, James. You ought to run that stuff by the folks at the Daily Klan. Right up their street.